Over an intense online discussion with a ladyfriend in LA about the travails of dating multiple people, we touched upon the painful secret we single(ish) people all share- more drunk sexytimes than sober.
C., who isn’t promiscuous by any means, told me that she was mortified by her boozy behavior and couldn’t remember a recent time that she was sober in bed with someone, and it got me thinking:
If alcohol gives us liquid courage to go to bed with someone, and it also let’s us do things with people we wouldn’t normally do, does being sober make us intelligent cowards?
Going out to a bar is always panic-inducing, especially if you’re alone and you’re driving. We use alcohol as a way to ease into that awkward aloneness. It opens us up to new experiences and conversations with people; a crutch if you will. So what if during your boozing you spy someone that at the moment is considered attractive? I’m the first to say that I’ve done it— hit someone up that during daylight hours, I’d be more reticent to unbutton my pants to. We make these choices though…regardless of our inebriation.
And then comes the regret. “Who is this guy?” “What happened last night?” Questions like that leak out of our fuzzy heads in the a.m. when we’re scrambling to put ourselves back together.It’s always the retrospection that bites us in the ass.
In bar politick, when does trying to get someone in bed become bad?
Then again, what would have happened if you were sober? Not much better- you’d be going home alone and chances are you didn’t have a good time. I’m not saying that fun MUST be had with alcohol, but if you’re nervous about meeting someone, that sharp scrutiny on your own self-consciousness can hinder the flow of casual conversation. It can also make your arousal decrease once you’ve taken your clothes off with that person. That nagging inner voice that says your body isn’t good enough to be on display can definitely put a damper on feeling sexy. HOWEVER- you’re not regretting any boozy mistakes, and definitely curbing your risks of STDs and kinky(er) sex.
C., as a heterosexual female, is definitely for the wiser in recognizing destructive behavior before it gets too out of control. It’s definitely more dangerous for a good-looking female at a bar full of men, who also happens to be drunk. But she brings up a good point: are we as a society programmed to accept drinks as bribed entrance to our beds? Is that the new sexual currency?